Easy, Trigger.

My, my, my, how my tables have turned. So... there's that fella I met at the hotsprings on New Year's Day. Wants to go camping with me this weekend there. Offered to camp out even up til my birthday. At first, I was excited, we are talking about one of my favorite places on earth. I thought that it was a great idea-UNTIL I heard things like: "I'm glad you are turning 30, I have a rule I don't date anyone under that age."
The word DATE ricocheted around the inside of my skull. Anxiety raised her head from her pointless task of braiding worry knots with a "What? Is it my turn? Am I needed?" I tried to placate her with half truths but she is good friends with Intuition and their time together has rubbed off. I don't take those words lightly; boyfriend, girlfriend, dating, and lover hold great weight to me. I do not take them or their usage lightly. Maybe I should, it would make things a lot easier for me.
My friend Kimmie encouraged the connection so I could see how an older man will treat me, but I don't see how it could make much of a difference. They are all men. There is a small handful I truly feel comfortable with. Plus, I'm not feelin' it. Coming from my last experience, where I still contend that those moments I got to share were some of the best days of my life so far- it is hard to look beyond them. I still cry over my loss.
Here's were that opposite side of the table comes in:
I feel pressured by his expectations and I am now reconsidering what to do (for my birthday weekend). The roles were a little reversed from my last go round. Irony and Anxiety have taken up to playing a quite game of scrabble in the corner. They seem to be making up their own roles.

Friday I'm singing back up for Kimmie and we open for George Clinton & the PFunk. Somewhere called Red Way? I think it is north of us. That's a pretty cool way to kick off my bday experience: performing to about a 1000 people. I think that is a really thoughtful birthday gift the Universe came up with. Thank you.

8.