Ok, so maybe just maybe I can get some healing done with one of the loves of my life. Mr. I-never-want-to-speak-to-you-again has started dialogue. I am thankful, cause finally. Let's heal from the this. It is IN THE PAST for fucks sake. I don't know how successful I will be with getting on decent ground with this guy. I addressed each one of his grievances individually, we'll just have to wait and see.
Ewww, but I have a bad girl reputation in some circles! Wooo hoo!!! It's true! Let me indulge in this for an instant, because Jesus Christ, you know me. Scandalous? Please, I'm a teddy bear. I set bugs I find in my house free outside.
The coffee table! The blessed coffee table incident has been branded across my skin. Hester Pryne, I feel ya, girl. 7 years ago, I slept with the wrong man. Damaged me emotionally for a long time, cause I knew he wasn't right. I KNEW IT. But I didn't want to BELIEVE it.
And cause I didn't walk my truth then, I am still suffering the repercussions. Not from myself anymore, but from those I affected. I didn't ever think or realize I wielded that kind of sway. But I am being presented with this as fact. Again and again. I don't see myself very well, and in that statement there are SOOOOO many layers attached.
I really was clueless. I mean, what self-respecting girl would have put up with being refered to as a drunken mistake? And that was after the first time. Did he mean that? Not really, but he didn't want to show weakness to his friends. Totally understandable, with a healthy slice of sarcasm.
Different time, different Katrina.
I don't think I have to wear this scarlet table on my chest all the time, just when I go to Kansas City. And only if I run in to the right (or wrong, I'll leave it to you) people.
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