The Reason Why

I don't give
my friends,
my family
massages cause
they can still
hurt
my hands.
I guess
I'm selfish
that way.
My gift has gotten
rusty yet I never
oil the hinges...
in the days to come
in the last moment
I will tell you
I have always loved you-
though I never could
express it right.
What it was,
was:
I didn't want
to open up
and face the pain.
I know
I'm selfish
that way.