Monkey Mind

I've been working on taming this Monkey Mind of mine. I'm on the last week of 40 day meditation. 31 minutes everyday. My mind will NOT shut up! I continually steer it back on course. Even though that Monkey Mind of mine is still running all over the place, at least it's getting a little direction.

I'm becoming distant from people. Not because I am depressed, but because I am reflective. I am turning inward to myself, searching for what is blocking my path. I am coming to terms with the fact that is where the obstacles are hiding. I am still looking to blame something else while at the same time I am diving deep for the answers. I am truly challenged, as Monkey Mind is very distracting, leading me down wrong paths and dead ends. Silly Monkey Mind. I must find a banana or shiny object to distract it.

Passage

There was a time

when I got my way.

All I had to do was tell you

what I wanted

and I was allowed to have it.

If I have to pull your teeth

to get you to want to see me

than

all the fun of having

a lover

is gone.

Today I got off the phone

and I wanted to call you back

to tell you to forget about it.

I know that

eventually

our time will pass,

but I want to be

able to enjoy it

while I have it.

Before we slip through

each other's fingers.

Who should I tell?

There is my perspective with which I see things. I've discovered through experience it is not always best to share the things I see. I will let you know this: I can read people like books. I wouldn't be a good healer if I didn't. When I look at people I can see the places they hold tension, I can read their current state of mind/ mood. I can read the gestures they make with their hands and bodies when they speak, sometimes they tell a different story then their mouth. That being said, little can be hidden from my eyes. Sometimes, I pretend I don't notice the things that I see. I've noticed that this puts people more at ease, when people don't know I see through their veils and masks. But I know. All to well. I know.

When I'm tired and I don't want to go to bed

I let my vision become blurry

and I fight

with natural urges

to close my eyes

and let the sleep come in.

I want to finish tasks but

I find myself incapable

of focus.

Could I tell you why

my love hides?

It would at best

be a good guess.

Oh, sleep, dear sleep.

I haven't figured out

the meaning just yet!