Gloomy Weather

I am terribly bored today. It has rained all day yesterday, and today. I wait for the rain to stop so I can go in to town, but alas. I stare out at a terribly wet, wet world. It's got me down a little. I think I will turn on Jesus Christ Superstar as loud as I can and sing along, but before I do that, I shall brood. I allow myself this indulgence for it will help prepare me for my undertaking of the role of Judas, who is a broody sort. A very reasonable reason.

Idle Pools of Thought

How hard will it be
for me to go back there?
I will be haunted by ghosts
that will float around me,
intertwined
and joyful.
They will not be able to notice
the rest of us
exist at all.

I will swim around them.
I will watch
and I will remember
what it felt like
to have the whole world melt away.

Is it like this every day?

You may want to ask me how I am spending my days. Well, you're reading it.
Yesterday I bruised my nose. Only those who are intimately acquainted with my freckles would be able to see it, so I don't have much proof. It happened in a moment of triumph: I had found all the cords needed to plug the Les Paul in to the amp. As I victoriously put my head through the strap of the guitar, the heavy guitar swung in and made impact with the bridge of my nose.
I froze in shock and pain. It felt like I broke my nose. I waited for something more to happen- like my nose to start bleeding- nothing did.
Perhaps I should have put ice on it, but I went ahead and rocked on.
Now, it is tender to the touch, and faintly purple.
Today, I'm going to be a little more careful, because who knows what else could come and along and whack me in the face when I least expect it.

The Third Moon

I would be lying to myself if I said I wasn't reeling
from what I just went through.
Organizing my life down to a carload,
saying goodbye
to my loving community,
all in the middle of the ice storm,
oh yeah... then add four days
of travel after all that
was no cake walk.

(Even though I found ways
to entertain myself,
I still called my mom everyday,
it comforted us both.)

I would be lying if I said I wasn't confused.
That I still can't wrap my brain around
what happened here a month ago,
nor what has gone down since then.

I would be lying if I said I didn't have doubts,
that I don't question my motives.
However, the synchronicity of how
everything fell in to place,
and the absence of that feeling of restlessness
that has been plaguing me for months
deny me my last holds on
self sabotage.

I would be lying if I said I didn't see
I did the right thing,
and everything is in perfect time.
I've had crystal clear clarity
provided with a dash of enjoyable alliteration.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't missing my heart.
She's changed and I don't know
if we'll ever be the same. I don't know if
I'll be able to identify with her new beat.
She's changed her rhythm
faster than I can make a rhyme.

Merry Christmas!

I awoke today all warm and cozy because of my new friend, Jana. I'm not missing anything when I have a sweet loving dog cuddled up next to me. I was invited last night to a Christmas get together next door, I would of gone, but I fell asleep. I was kinda expecting myself to be a little bummed being all alone, but I wasn't. Just peaceful. I wasn't alone, I have three furry friends to hang with. I gave Iggy a bath because he was FILTHY, and cut out the burs in his coat (I was amazed that he would stay perfectly still when I did the cutting, if you met him, you too would be a little taken aback that he had 'stillness' in his repertoire). It was a beautiful day yesterday, the dogs and I soaked in the sun, and I read a book. Today I plan to cook something. I don't know what, this kitchen is full of things to cook. So much stuff I can't even make a decision, there are endless possibilities!

Merry Christmas to all, may this holiday be filled with peace and love, and all the blessings we've been provided.

Here is the cast of characters:

Jana, my #1. Loves walks and hates being left alone.

Bender: lover of rocks and any attention you have to spare.

Iggy: A dynamic force of excitable energy that rarely turns off, unless he eats turkey poop. I've already had to blockade two tunnels he's dug under the fence.

Lorriane, my travel companion.

I am very lucky to have been able to find someone to travel with me at the last minute. She is such a blast! Cracked me up all the time. All we did was share jokes. Here some pictures of our adventures:


Here we go!

Our hotel room in Albuquerque.

Sedona IS beautiful! Just like they say.

We stopped at diner to refuel.

Enjoying the desert scenery, but not the winds.

The stinkiest bathroom we've been in yet!


Lorriane takes in downtown Los Angeles, CA.

Lorriane makes a new friend, Albert, her first night in California.

Albert helps Lorriane get her drink on.

Lorriane and I get lost in LA, but lucky, my daddy taught me how to use a map.

Making new friends all over the place!

Yea, we made it! Happy Holidays from Lorriane and I. We are busy chillin' and letting our nerves calm down from that long journey. San Fransisco traffic almost killed us, but once we hit the 101, we knew we were home free. And how true is that statement? Home free. Don't know what is going to happen but I think I will enjoy it while I can.

Today

Open up to beautiful things,
let your heart be free
from tangles and chains.
Be ready for anything,
the world is your door.

The Story of an Alien

Once there was an alien who had a small flat in the Andromeda Halo. Which is right outside the Andromeda Galaxy, a little to the left of Messier 32. She felt apathetic about the state of things, which is kinda what you have to be when you live in a place where you don't have any choice. In all the wide wide Universe, it is a little boring. Patterns of the Universe are predictable (even the ones that are chaotic) so you pretty much know how tomorrow will be before today even begins.
Alien K (we'll call her that, because the translation is a bit convoluted) was on her balcony, having a glass of dkyhfoo... let's just say she was having a glass of wine. She was having a glass of wine with her friend Alien B. Which was what they did when the North Star gets to a certain point on the horizon. They had been doing this predictably for as long as Alien K could remember. Out on the balcony Alien K was in her own world, thinking about how a star tomorrow was going to explode and slow work down by 2.5 light years for two rotations. Out of nowhere, Alien B said something that was completely unexpected: "On Earth, they have Free Will."
"What?" said K, breaking from her chain of thought.
"On earth there is Free Will," Alien B seemed to be in a trance, "they can make choices, and it affects their environment around them."
"I don't understand."
"That's what I said, then I contemplated it for a bit. Think of it: any situation an earthling gets put in to, they get to choose their response. Their response ripples out, and hits everything that surrounds them."
All K could muster up for a response was: "Huh." Inside however, something stirred. Her mind began to race, and she felt her body pulse with excitement. The silence that hung itself between them was thick and heavy. "Something is going on inside me." "I know," B said quietly, "I feel it too. It tingles."
"What is this? Feeling? I've never heard of that before, but somehow I understand it. Something is happening to my body." K did not hesitate in her compulsion, "I've got to go, I don't understand how or why, but I've got to go to Earth. I must understand why it makes my body feel this way."
"I knew that would happen if I told you." Alien B hung her head, "Something blocks me, I don't understand it and that freezes me from non-action. You have to go, for both of us."
Already Alien K could feel great changes in her life she could not see yet. Never had she experienced feelings like this, or more accurately: never had she experienced feelings ever. "How do I get there?" she pondered. "Remember the Hitch hiker's Guide? Stick your thumb out, and bring a towel," as she said this B held out a package, "I bought you a new one."

Sans furniture.

All that is left is a matching whicker coffee and end table, a TV, a bed, and a piano. It is utter chaos. Even though I am in a constant state of reorganization, I never seem to get anywhere.
Today I shall focus on whittling what I'm taking to one room, because that is what I'm moving to: one room.
We moved al my furniture yesterday. As the last two pieces were set in place at their new home, I had to sit down and cry. It is very clear to me I am a sentimental old sap. It isn't so much their beauty (which I adore), what matters is who's hands made their beauty shine. I realized yesterday, that along with my guru- who is in every room of my house shining her smile at me- I have surrounded myself with pieces of my father. A pocket knife here, and old business sign there.
I am shedding layers like a snake. Some of them are emotional.

Mr. Al Rey, or should I say Ray?

Today I listened to a friend's new album. The version of it before it gets mastered. It's all mumbo jumbo to me, but I get the jist. It was a great honor to listen to it before it gets printed. As I listened to it, I had a vision, I will try to recreate through one of my favorite mediums: poetry.

Put in front
of the appex of sound
I had a vision-
strong and beautiful.
I felt it first then
saw it in my mind's eye:
my friends
lined up along each side of me
stretched out across infinity.
Side by side,
an army of light
shining love
from our hearts
as we walked
in perfect beat
together in unison.
I felt the enormous power behind us:
giant angels
glowing their approval.
I took my own advice
and stretched my wings-
they are wider than
I ever imagined.
My wish is that
I can get all
beautiful spirit warriors
to see their part
as clearly as I did,
but they might have to wait
til the album comes out.