Morning Light

Why be real?

Why have something intense 

that could sweep you up 

and burn you?

Set you alight and make you 

feel more than you ever did before? 

Why feel that much? 

Questioning it 

is not a luxury

I possess.

All I can do is feel. 

All I can do is quake 

in awe of the power 

that courses through me.

I am a slave to it. 

I will never be free

of the ecstatic forces

that roll beneath 

my surface.  

It is intense.

This love, 

it’s contained

in a body it doesn’t all fit in.

It spills out and overflows 

and if I had more grace,

maybe

it might not shake the walls

and test the foundation.

I haven’t been able to find that,

the only development 

I can make 

in this here

and this now

is that I’m ok.

I’m a good person,

I strive to do my best,

always improve,

and I sincerely want 

the best for everyone

including me.

I can not change

what has ended up

being my buoy

when all else fails

and I have nothing 

left to offer…

I have this love.

It powers unrelenting

through my darkness

and reminds me

I’m worth it.

You Won't Get This

Track lighting

and a dusty ceiling

Small corner

of the Universe

spinning,

who am I 

to tell you what?

All the worlds &

all the moments

are here, but

I'm not sharing

cause 

it's not worthy

of my loves.

New Path

Looking back again,

We’ve turned around.

There are regrets,

Then there are none.

I don’t know what’s better.

I’ve nothing that I want,

I’m all that I have.

I sell myself for pennies 

on the dollar.

I’m worth a lot 

but refuse to believe it.  

I’m not selling myself short,

I’m selling myself wide.

To me, this is all very confusing

yet makes perfect sense.

If I said that I’m doing the best

that I can

it is a lie.  Don’t believe it.

I could always be improving.

I’m stuck in circles looping back 

on to itself.  Get me a new pattern.

I’m ready.

Do You Remember

When the light was shining on us

& spirit moved me

to comfort you?

We walked in step

with heads together

amid sparkling leaves.

My face was flushed from the adventure.

You left me with a kiss

on my cheek

& I left you

a piece of my heart

without even

knowing it.

I remember.

Hello, Goodbye

So here you are

and there you go.

You don't owe me anything

but I owe you miles of journey.

Last night I dreamed of you

telling me

the things I would least

like to hear:

"It's over."

Before it's even begun,

and how can it?

The flight tickets

were already bought

before we connected.

I am doing my best

to stay with

a healthy state of mind

but hormones have been

unleashed in my system

and the chemicals are

reeking havic.

I know

how precious

a moment is,

so I steel myself

with this truth.

Confidence responded first

even though she didn't

hear the question

all the way through.

Melancholy has raised her hand

knowing cold answers.

I thought

I'd grown up by now,

but I'm still

a princess in her tower

waiting for her knight

to come and rescue her.

No Holds

I watch from outer space

you found love again

but of course you would

you live for love

and believe in it with force.

You believe in love

so much you took a stand

and wouldn't live without it.

I have admired and was lucky enough

to enjoy your determination

to have it.

You have met someone,

someone that I know could not have been me

there was no way

but yet I still find myself

wishing

I wasn't the only one of us

still yearning for someone to hold.

Lost Boy

I was once one of your number

We sang like we wanted to

be on the cover of the Rolling Stone

and you helped avenge my honor

with ransom notes

and we laughed and laughed.

Not enough skeeball in the world

will keep me in your good graces

if there ever were any.

The pen was mightier in the sword,

back then.

Now cold actions

cut deeper

than words ever could.